night and day

just different...

Linda Silverman was explaining at a lecture that I was at recently that gifted persons are more different from one another than one average person is from another.... I thought that little tid bit rather interesting... how do they go about "proving" this, let alone "discovering" this...

She explained it makes categorizing them in little cliques rather impossible...

yesterday I saw yet another example of how my kids are so different.

compatible, but different.

Some similarities are that they both gifted, and both have their "issues" and would most likely be labeled "twice exceptional" because of these issues.... One issue they both have is vision tracking, though that is where the similarity stops. HOW the tracking issue manifests is different, what sort of therapy each of them needs to correct their issue is... different... how bad the vision is for each of the is... different... and how it manifests itself in everyday life is... you guessed it ... different... so the only thing the same is that they both have some sort of eye muscle/visual tracking issue.

Yesterday they both started an art class. Taught by another home school mom, who is an art teacher. One child loved it! Loved the drawing big, the cluing, cutting, painting, learning about design, elements, color, really felt free with her brush. This was my daughter. She told me she would love to have paper as big as the room, many different brushes and walk barefoot just painting!

This distressed my son. who likes to draw, but with a pencil, small pictures, not large. Not with a paint brush, not with paint. Not with big strokes, broad strokes... He found the whole experience frustrating... He really liked the teacher. He really liked the other kids. He was glad no one was mad when he sprayed them all with paint on accident, trying TOO hard to BE broad with his stroke...

What went wrong? Why was he actually "frustrated"...? It is one thing to NOT be an artist, another to be actually "frustrated".

I prayed about it, and asked questions, and decided it was the fact that his eyes jump, they dart, and he was always drawing in his comfort zone. This nice new teacher was asking him to step out of his comfort zone. His eyes couldn't track that brush and what it was doing, and it was stressful to him, it took sooo much energy to focus on the tip of that brush, he was spent, exhausted, wiped out.

Yet my God is good, all the time, and He had my day planned in such a way that I had BEEN frustrated ALL day. After art class was the chiropractor/therapist (who does occupational/physical & some vision therapy with my children) and then off to the eye doctor at Costco. It would be a crazy, traffic laden afternoon, one I was dreading!

I told the therapist about his dislike for the "large painting project" the problem with the broad strokes, and she pondered this, asking him questions about what those movements were exactly... and altered his therapy after discovering some significant issues not noticed previously... Praise God. At the eye doctor we discovered his eyes were worse. My husband who met us there, asked why, why are they worse every time we come? The answer... His muscles are weak, and cross when he focuses on anything like a word or anything, that is why two different scripts, that is why bifocals. I asked, what about Vision therapy? She looked confused....

I don't want to bash my wonderful Costco Optical Dr. Frankly she is terrific. She is however like most in her field, not willing to tell us to go for therapy, to work out those muscles, to learn how... rather than just have another script and watch our sons eyes get worse and worse and worse.

We brought our daughter in a while ago, but she passed the tests at Costco... Her "vision" was fine. Its ONLY her tracking that is bad. Glasses won't help her, and so it seems to me, the therapy they are getting is great, but at some point we MAY need to see a real live, in person Vision Therapist! What do you think?

Oh and their paint wheel.... One is all gloppy, a huge mess (his) and one is perfectly pretty, numbered and everything (hers), utterly different, utterly night, and day....

Emotional Stress........

I am told, and I read, and I experience each day the fact that gifted children are VERY sensitive. Their sensitivities are at times almost hyper, acute, and painful to witness. They FEEL things more intensely, things hurt MORE, rejection cuts deeper, grief pins itself harsher, joy a bit broader, louder, or just more... They are perhaps a brighter shade of the same color, a more vibrant color, a deeper color....

When things are bright yellow, they are BRIGHT and light and brilliant, and when they are gray, they are like storm clouds rolling in over the waters, rich and deep, making you want to board up the house and pack away the glass.....

My mother is ill with Cancer... my mother is very close to my children. We made choices, my husband and I, to put family before academics, before their hungry minds... We chose to put their hungry souls, their need for meaning, purpose, belonging first, and let academics always come second.... So, our school week has made a point as my mothers health has deteriorated the last couple years to include one full day a week with just her. The diagnosis of cancer is new... but her health, has not been tip top for a while...

We have always tried to reach out to family, especially to those in the family who were reaching out to us... Some don't. Some are fairly busy in their own lives, their own worlds, their work, friends, schedules, we are not a priority to them, and that is OK... it really is. They can't all be a priority to me either. So, I choose those who reciprocate a bit, and don't go chasing after rainbows....

So my mother, she is close to them, and they to her. She is the storyteller, the magic weaver, the craftier, the baker, the laughter, movie watching, encouraging, always ready to hear their hearts, wanting to KNOW their achievements as well as their struggles grandmother, known only to them as Oma...

Now she is ill. We take her every third week to chemo, we pick her up. We visit each week, some weeks are good, some are not. This week she's been hospitalized, this week they've visited her everyday..

Perhaps its too much. Perhaps I should take a break. I know I am tired, worn down with all the quick meals, rushed lessons, driving everywhere....

But there is that grayness, that only lifts when they SEE her, and know it isn't worse than they imagined in their lay in bed time before drifting to sleep last night... There is that look on her face, of sadness that is gone as soon as she sees them! There is the Light that turns on for all of them when they are together, that makes me go back each day. Somehow they can't believe a phone call, they won't take my word for it... something in them is so afraid, so concerned, so in love with her, they simply must see,....

They have faith in God you see, not faith in Dr's or hospitals, and certainly not faith in cancer. It took too many they know already...

My daughter wants to find the Cure sitting on the bed just expecting it to go away NOW! My oldest son is withdrawing, and forgetful, and my youngest is loud, and emotional., very dramatic..

I am tired....

I am glad to not shelter them from this harsh reality, I am honored to shepherd them through it... frighting as it may be.

Somehow their brightness, sees more, understands more, and because of it, pat answers do not work, and so the comfort, the time, the space needs to be their. The prayers, the patience, the walking through this with no expectations of one another, is the most important... Because Cancer sucks, that IS a fact of life. And Love conquers all, if we just DO it, and LET it, and learn HOW....

still learning.....

ALEKS.... cintinued....

COULD it be??? a mathematical match for our extended European trip??? I do believe things are looking good ... mathematically speaking...
Thus far, my children are really enjoying the addition of ALEKS to their day!

Did I say ADDITION? You betcha! I don't have the time to throw out perfectly working curriculum to "see" if something May or May not work... So we are PLOWING full speed ahead and simply adding ALEKS to our day.... and they are LOVING it!

When they sit down in the morning and login to ALEKS, they are greeted with their personal colored pie. The pie is broken into pieces; each piece identifying with a different area of study. They have the option of choosing which area they want to study that day. There is also a review area to check out.

So what is there to motivate them to review, or to pursue anything at all, BUT whatever interests them... Well, every time they master something, that section of the pie gets bigger... Once the pie is all FULL... they are on to the next grade level! That is pretty motivating! Just the idea that they can move a grade level at THEIR will and motivation, with their own determination is huge!!

I liked that there is a nice review section. I liked that it shows the percentage via a fraction circle in the parent/administrator section of approximately how likely my child has actually mastered the material.... and will continue to review it until full mastery is achieved.
I like the section in the parent/admin area that shows me how many hours my child worked/vs how many skills per hour my child achieved.... I just liked it... I found it so ... I don't know... refreshing :)

So thus far the beginning of my "free month" is going pretty well. But I will hold out a little longer. I found having to upload and download, and unload different versions of Java a BIG pain in my neck! A pain that is STILL there, and now occasionally causes my computer to just freeze....

But ALEKS really does keep it's promise to remember JUST where your child was at :) so that when they reboot and re login, they pick up exactly where they left off, no data lost. :) good to know

more later!

so what IS "gifted" anyhow???

What exactly is gifted anyhow? What is all the buzz about, can you "make" your kid gifted, can you eat certain foods to encourage giftedness in your child? Is everyone "gifted" in their own way? Isn't calling your kids "gifted" being a bit snobby????
Well one of the BEST lists I have seen to help you assess your child to see if they may be "gifted" is from the Gifted Development Center. (Linda Silverman)
Here is the Link to the List

http://www.gifteddevelopment.com/What_is_Gifted/characgt.htm

If you just are unsure, but suspect, because perhaps your child is simply NOT the same as his or her peers... check out the list. Please keep in mind 2E children may mask some of these attributes... like reading well, if your child has a vision tracking issue, reading well is simply NOT going to be on his list.... so keep in mind your whole child and any suspicions you may have of learning disabilities... if you have questions about 2E scroll down and read the post on this topic

a great bibliography

by a favorite in the gifted community..
kathi kearney!
http://www.hollingworth.org/homebib.html

I am not certain where to obtain all the information listed in it, but I plan on hunting for it and posting links to articles here as I find them. If you find one that I do not post as an attatchment here, PLEASE send me the link and I will add it to this Post! And give YOU the credit! If you have a blog of your own, be sure to add the link :) Let us network together for the sake of the children!

ALEKS... so far

Well, we have officially had both children "assessed" with ALEKS.... One thing I didn't like was that I had to decide a level to assess them at... I felt that I was a bit unprepared for this. What if I was underestimating their ability, what if I was overestimating it? so stressful! In the end I decided to go for Pre-Algebra for both children, figuring if they rocked, the program would move them ahead, and if they bombed, it would regress them... or I WOULD :) They scored dead center within 4 points of one another. What that means is, they are half way through the Pre-Algebra level, and my best "guess" was a pretty good one...

What I really liked about the assessment...

It did NOT tell the student if the answer to the question was right or wrong... ever. It gave them a pie in the end showing them in a rich color all they knew and in the fair color the information they would "get to learn" ! :) This made it fun, like it just didn't matter if something was right, or if something was wrong, because ALEKS just wanted to know them, and to know what they knew, so ALEKS could be a good tutor. It was a relief...

I also liked that the test WAS NOT timed, and they had as much time as they needed to work out the problems.

I also thought the tutorial explaining HOW TO use ALEKS was very neat, and each of my children were very excited about starting the assessment afterwards.

My children took between 1 1/2 -2 hours to complete there assessment... they have some testing anxiety, and a rowdy 4 yr old in the house. Things like phone calls and other distractions could not be helped. I think with a quieter atmosphere it would have taken much less time.

So far they have each begun to work on their fair colored sections of their pie with great enthusiasm, and like the program very much. But then, we HAVE only begun... so more information on ALEKS as they progress..... :) but so far... so good... we may have our solution for FRANCE :)

oh ... to check out ALEKS you too can get a free one month subscription @ http://www.aleks.com/

SIDE BAR - funny parenting moments :)

Dear Mrs. China....

So, one of my blessings is an extrovert exuberant boisterous boy, I refer to in Cyber World as Buddy. :) He is my youngest darlin' and he is just now 4! :) I think the cake was only recently finished, is how JUST 4 he is :) cute as a button!

Buddy is in a fixation right now with trucks, cars and recently added, the wonderful helicopter. This new addition seems to be crowding in on last years obsession with trains... though he still loves trains, he seems to, at least for now that is, have exhausted his need for knowledge of them. And so begins my story, the little boy who needs to line them up, and then rearrange in appreciation of color, will then, rearrange them, by make and model, and then, by size, and , or who KNOWs what ... always ordering them, rearranging them, and then, the testosterone kicks into gear, and he just has to, HAS to know, which cars and trucks and helicopters are really worth their salt. He will let them rip, flying into walls, crashing into moms feet while making dinner, rushing nearly flying over the living room sunken in steps, and if it survives all these crashes, then, THEN he will drop it from the 2nd story when you are NOT watching, to see what comes of it.. We have all taken to walking carefully and calling out his name before walking out from under the loft to the designated drop spot. Matchbox cars, and remote control hummers HURT when they land on your head! Please note the other two children are in fact INTROVERTS, and this REALLY stresses them out :) Makes for an interesting day sometimes.... Yes, anyway, he NEEDS to know... If a car makes it, he will ask his brother, what it says underneath, and make a mental note. If a car does not, again he will inquire what the car says on the bottom and make a mental note.... now that you are updated, on to the story....

We all go to the Chiropractors each week, for adjustments and the two older children for physical therapy, this story takes place in the office. Buddy decides he NEEDS to chat with Ms. Merry behind the counter, so ever the extrovert, he simply walks into the office space and begins to chat... Ms. Merry by now rather enjoys these visits from Buddy each week. This weeks choice conversation is about Buddy's disgust with CHINA.

MS MERRY: why are you so upset with China Buddy?

BUDDY: They are all China's cars and trucks...(he pulls out an example or two to display... poor wretch things that may once have been cars that rolled on the floor... but no more) NO one else makes these junkie things, they don't pass any of my tests, you should see! a broken Axel Look here, (he flips it over for her to see the mishaphed and clearly disfunctional axel... that he knew it was an axel was sort of endearing I thought...) it is awful! LOOK Ms Merry, someone ought to tell china Her toys stink, they all break, and then you don't have them anymore because you have to throw them away.

Ms MERRY : Do all the cars and trucks break when you play hard with them Buddy?

BUDDY: OOOOOOOOOOOO no! Tia wan and USA and maly asia they do great!! you should see! No NO, it is China that can't do it right. ( head shaking in utter disappointment for this poor China, who ever she is)Always it is my china cars and trucks and helicopters that break... china! ( he is not ranting, but talking calming, tapping his feet and using hand gestures to make his point take more effect... he looks very adorable, and very serious ) no quality, like they don't care what they are making.... My German toys, and French and English toys don't break as easy... no, just china It is soo frustrating... (clenched fists pounding the little legs! He was so emphatic!!!)

Ms Merry : Maybe you should write them a letter

BUDDY: (goes to show her on the computer that she should type it) and begins the dictation ... Yes, lets write a letter!!

Dear Mrs. China......


what is a mom to do...? I thought to blog it, so I'd not forget how sweet 4 can be :)
oh, I had to show him where China lived on the globe when we got home so he might know where to send his letter when he finished it... He just shook his head, and said she was soo big.